The Rookies - Diary of a Rock 'n' Roll Band

This blog is my attempt to capture the ups and downs of an everyday amateur band. The band has been formed for just over a year, so I will include a snippet of our history with each posting as well. Please feel free to post replies, comments and suggestions.

My band is called The Rookies and consists of me on guitar and vocals, Charlie on drums, Paul on bass and Ted on keyboards. Our general ethos is to play what I like to call “high octane party music”. The rule is that you have to be able to dance to it, but it mustn’t be the same old stuff that your run-of-the-mill wedding bands do. We want people to be surprised and delighted at the songs we do, not resigned to them. To give an idea of the general flavour, at our inaugural gig we played a short set of seven songs consisting of:

Sharp Dressed Man – ZZ Top
Hard To Handle – The Black Crows (Wilson Pickett originally, I think)
Teenage Kicks – The Undertones
All the Small Things – Blink 182
Ever Fallen In Love – The Buzzcocks
Sex On Fire – Kings of Leon
Jailhouse Rock – Elvis Presley

This set list went down a storm, if I say so myself. We played our set during the main band’s break and the general consensus from the event organizers was that if they’d known how well we were going to go down, they wouldn’t have bothered booking the other band – which was nice – but it was just as well they had, because we only knew those seven songs and it would have made for a real short party.

Tuesday (tonight) is usually band rehearsal night, but the bass player is off tonight, so I’ll spend the time at home working songs out and practicing (something I don’t do anywhere near enough of). I need to work on the mandolin parts for REM’s Losing My Religion and also Paul McCartney’s Dance Tonight. We have our next gig on April 24th so we need to be deciding on the set list and working on the new numbers that will be in it.

I also need to give my main guitar a bit of a clean, new strings and check the set-up. My guitars are working a lot harder now than they ever have before, so I have to look after them.

So, here’s the first installment of the history of The Rookies ……

I was at a bit of a musical loose end when I moved down to sunny Hampshire. I'd been playing in the same band, Clever Jake, for nearly 15 years, so suddenly having no band to play in was a bit of a blow. Forming a band from scratch is quite a difficult thing to do, so it was lucky that someone else did it for me …..

One of the dads at the school where all three of my boys go to put an ad in the school newsletter for other parents to form a band to help raise some money for the school, so I applied and got the gig, along with Charlie, the drummer, and Paul, the bass player.

I first met up with Paul and the guy who first formed the band (let's call him Mr X, for reasons that will become apparent) in a local pub and we seemed to all get on quite well. Obviously at this stage we were all on our best behaviour and being terribly polite to each other, but we kind of agreed on what we were about, and seemed to have roughly the same musical tastes, so things were looking good. Then Mr X announced that he had found a drummer, Charlie, and things were looking peachy so we booked the village hall at Thruxton (which sounds like an embarassing disease) for a first get together.

Now, dear readers, this is where we come to the first salutary lesson in this sorry tale of conflicting egos and musical differences. Although we all played together quite well (in fact, amazingly well for a first rehearsal) Mr X’s tendency to spend the whole time in between songs playing loudly and ignoring the rest of us didn’t bode well, but we were all still being polite to each other at this stage.

So, lesson one in Screaming Dave’s “How To Be In a Band” course would be to not play too loud and incessantly in between songs at rehearsals. It just annoys your band mates.

Now, Mr X wanted us to decide on our set list by exchanging a Google Docs Excel spreadsheet and vote on what songs we wanted to do, and then fill in the sheet to say what songs we’d practiced at home and were ready to work on in rehearsals. This was all a bit corporate for me, I have to say, and Charlie and I thought that meeting up in the pub to discuss it would be better, so that’s what we did. And then Charlie and I decimated his list. That didn’t go down at all well.

I think, with hindsight, this was the beginning of the rot, but I still think that Metallica would have been the wrong stuff to have played, given that we wanted to play gigs to make some money for the school.

We only got about half an hour into our next rehearsal before Mr X lost it completely and stormed out, accusing us all of not practicing enough (we possibly deserved that), not being dedicated enough (we didn't really deserve that) and saying we’d never get anywhere (we definitely didn’t deserve that).

Anyway, maybe I shouldn’t have told him his guitar sound was way too distorted and wouldn’t cut through (but it was, and it didn’t ……)

And maybe I shouldn’t have told him he was playing Sharp Dressed Man all wrong (but he was ….)

And maybe, just maybe, it was all just a cry for help and all he wanted was for us to appreciate how lucky we were to have such a talented guitarist in the band and we should have begged him to stay and give us one more chance. But we didn’t. None of us. Sometimes being talented (and he was) just isn't enough.

So we endured an excruciatingly embarrassing five minutes while he packed up his stuff in silence, while we all made light conversation about any upcoming holiday plans we had. Lesson two in Screaming Dave’s “How To Be In a Band” course would be, if you’re going to quit a band, don’t do it in the middle of a rehearsal, as it just causes awkwardness and embarrassment to all concerened.

So then we were three ………

Now that was a story worth reading. I'd like to hear more like this.

OK, I failed. I didn’t get the mandolin out last night, and I didn’t practise guitar or even think much about the set list, but I did get No. 1 guitar out (affectionately known as Cherry) and give her a good service. I took the strings off, then lifted the bridge and tailpiece off and removed the knobs, then gave it a good clean an polish before applying a little lemon oil to the fingerboard. Then I strung her up with a nice new set of strings and checked the set up, then noodled a bit using the old Pocket Pod as a headphone amp. I always find it quite satisfying, just tinkering with guitars. If I could make a living out of just setting up and carrying out minor repairs on guitars …..

Anyway, part two of The Rookies’ history ……

It’s quite amusing for someone to take so long to storm out, I guess, but it was excruciating at the time. Mr X packed up his gear in an angry silence louder than any shouting could have been, banging about and throwing his leads into his case. Finally the atmosphere became too tense and Charlie cracked first. "Where are you going oh holiday, Dave?" he said to me. I replied, telling him I ws driving Route 66 with a bunch of mates in April, and Paul chipped in that he'd probably go to France for a couple of weeks in the summer .... so we had this surreal situation of Mr X packing up in his smouldering, injured silence, and the rest of us chatting nonchalantly about how nice the Beaujolais region of France is in May - Weird!

Anyway, after Mr X had finally finished storming out Charlie, Paul and I just looked at each other in stunned silence for a few seconds, bearing in mind we none of us knew each other very well at all, before I let out an explosive, “Blimey! What the Hell happened there?”

It only took a few minutes’ conversation to establish that we were all in the same ballpark regarding lack of practice (we do all have busy lives with wives, kids and day jobs to fit in around our rocking ‘n’ rolling after all!) and Mr X’s perceived lack of dedication, and a couple more seconds to establish that we would go on and prove him totally wrong on the “you’ll never get anywhere,” front.

But it did leave a little bit of a problemette, in that we were going to sound a little thin as a 3-piece, especially with me now having to cover lead vocals and all guitar duties. So I mentioned my mate, Ted. I was at college with Ted and we’d been vaguely talking about playing in a band together for the last 20 years or so, off and on, and he lives nearby. The conversation went something like this:

ME: Look, I’ve got this mate who’s a really, really good keyboard player, and he plays guitar and a bit of sax as well. Maybe we could get him on board?

CHARLIE: Have you got his number?

ME: Yeah, I’ll call him tomorrow.

CHARLIE: No, I mean have you got it with you here, now.

ME: Er, yeah, I think so ….

CHARLIE: Call him now then.

So I did. And two minutes later we were four again, with Ted promising to rock up for rehearsal next week.

That taken care of we launched into a fairly adrenalin-fuelled three-piece rendition of Sharp Dressed Man, and ended it with big grins on our faces – this was going to work out OK.

I walked out of that rehearsal with a spring in my step. When I went into that room earlier, this band had been merely something to get me back into playing again, but nothing I could take too seriously. Now it had become an exciting musical project that I was genuinely enthusiastic about, with two guys who were now my mates, our embryonic friendships cemented by the common bond of having been yelled at by a
d!ckhead, and with one friend who I’d been wanting to play with for over 20 years.

So, the irony is that we owe Mr X a massive debt of gratitude. If he hadn’t got us all together we would never have formed the band, and if he hadn’t quit when he did, the rest of us probably would have done. I really don’t think I would have turned up for the next rehearsal, so Mr X just jumped before I did – a sort-of musical game of chicken!

Now all we needed was to get together a set list …..

….. oh, and we needed a gig …..

……and a PA …..

……..oh, and did I mention the lights …. ?

But we did have our secret weapon … we had a Ted!

(In the next episode Ted drops a bombshell, we get our gear PAT tested by an ex-elephant trainer and circus ringmaster (honest!) and we play our first gig!)

PAT tested! Wow! You guys really are keen!

Did you have to have a sticker on your gear to say that it had been tested?

Yeah, we got stickers and everything! I felt like a kid who just dropped a quid of his dad's money onto a charity collector's tin (apart from the fact is cost us £45 quid,that is).

Thanks for all that, I'll get something sorted on the main site to put it all on.
Keep it coming, its great having some good interesting stories to read

I have to confess that I felt a bit nervous before Ted’s first rehearsal. I felt an enormous sense of responsibility, on all sorts of levels. First of all I felt a responsibility to Ted that the band would be up to it, and that he’d like the stuff we were doing, and also that Paul and Charlie would accept him into the band, if he wanted to be in, that was. Then I felt a responsibility to Charlie and Paul that Ted would fit in and be up to the job, and would join if we wanted him to, then I felt a responsibility …………. Hell, let’s just say I was a bit of a nervous wreck.

Anyway, in the best traditions of fairy tales like this, Ted got on well with everyone, proved himself to be the virtuoso musician I remembered him being, and seemed to have a ball. The sound was so much better with him on board, and so we really were now a four-piece.

On top of that, we had the glimmer of a gig!

We were still thinking along the lines of making some money for the school, and I’d persuaded them to let us rehearse for free in the drama studio, so we really felt affiliated to them. The school was having a charity ball to raise funds for a new sports hall, so Charlie had spoken to the chair of the organising committee and it was starting to look like a goer. My wife was on the committee, too, so we seemed to have plenty of allies.

But there was one little problem (alright, quite a major bleeding problem!). Ted couldn’t do that date. He had a family do: a 70th birthday for one of his aunts. “It’s OK,” he reassured us, “she might be dead by then!”

As time went on it became apparent that a) Ted’s aunt was in good health and showed no signs of being at death’s door, so we were going to have to play as a three-piece, and b) the organising committee was divided and there were a few people who really didn’t want us to play. Chief among these was the lady who had booked the main band. I can see she felt an allegiance to the band she had booked and didn’t want us to spoil things, but our camp won through, and we were all set to play.

In the intervening weeks I had been conferred, albeit unofficially, with the role of band leader: not something I really wanted, but if there was something to be done I quite often ended up doing it ….. So I decided to do a bit of a diplomacy job and make contact with the other band. Let’s face it, musicians are a really friendly bunch and I figured that a bit of direct dialogue would smooth over any perceived ill-feeling. WRONG! The Email I got back from the band was decidedly frosty. They wanted us to be on a separate stage from them, so their area looked “uncluttered and professional”, and I could tell they were really unhappy about us playing on the same bill. I later found out they’d had two bad experiences: one with a bunch of kids who borrowed some of their gear and were really awful, and the other with a bunch of guys who were far better than them and the crowd wouldn’t let them get off. But I tried to reassure them that we really only knew 7 songs, but we were all experienced musicians, so it should all be OK. They wouldn’t share a PA with us, either, so that gave me another headache.

On top of that we got a message from the committee that the venue were demanding to see our public liability insurance and PAT testing certificates!

So now comes the biggest challenge faced by any band, ever! In order to get the insurance we needed - guess what? A band name! We actually came up with a name quite quickly and – and I still can’t believe we did this – we played the first gig under the name “Dads Allowed”. Isn’t that awful?! It went down well, but what a naff name! It’s still on our insurance policy actually – I must change that.

We also needed a PA, but luckily the guy who sang in my old band also did sound for yet another band, and he agreed to come and set us up a PA. So now all we needed was to get all our gear PAT tested. Charlie is an estate agent (but we try not to hold it against him) and he had the phone number of a guy who could do our PAT testing. Since he had the number, I’m not sure how it fell to me to call the guy, but call him I did, and he agreed to come to the rehearsal before the gig and do all our PAT tests. Paul had also managed to blag some lights, so he brought them along to get tested as well.

The guy who turned up to do the testing was one of those characters you feel privileged to have met. He rocked up on a great big Triumph motorcycle and was larger than life and it turned out that he’d been a professional circus ringmaster and elephant trainer! He reckoned he was the only person ever to live actually in New York City with an elephant, which he said was a bad idea because they poo every hour on the hour. He’d also been the circus electrician (so more of a ring-main master, then, arf arf!) but had run away from the circus when arthritis in his hands meant he could no longer help put up the big top (or clean up elephant poo, presumably).

The day of the gig dawned and we all met up at the venue to set up. I have to say, I got off to a bad start with the @rsehole who ran the venue when he asked me, “Are you the proper band or the other lot?” Proper band? PROPER BAND? Cheeky B@st@rd! I don’t know if the other band had done a number on him, or what, but he seemed to go out of his way to make things difficult for us. We had to set up our own stage (with decking borrowed from the school) and then he would only let us use a single 13 amp socket that was about 25 metres from our stage. The distance away wasn’t a problem, but the sign hanging over the socket saying something along the lines of “under no circumstances must this socket be used” gave me some cause for concern. I tool a photo of that in case we needed any leverage later! Remember, this was the guy insisting on seeing our gear PAT tested! Unfortunately the Elephant Man couldn’t pass our lights, and the git at the venue noticed they didn’t have a valid sticker, so we couldn’t use them – bum.

Despite all this, Neil did us a brilliant PA, and the folks setting up were all rocking when we did our sound check, so that boded well.

By the way, the other band’s stage did look professional and unclutered. It was certainly uncontaminated by anything resembling a drum kit! Ours was a proper band stage with miked up drums, backline, foldback speakers, the bloody lot!

The ball was a great success, but I spent the first half more than a tad nervous. The other band came on and played, but they really seemed to be going through the motions. I always think that can be the trouble with working bands – they forget to enjoy themselves. Finally they played a couple of numbers that emptied the dance floor and killed off the atmosphere totally. Thanks guys, we have to follow this!

As it happened, we needn’t have worried. The girl singer in the band read out the introduction I’d originally penned for someone else to do and we took to the stage to tumultuous applause and cheering. A brief word of thanks from me and we launched into our now finely-honed rendition of Sharp Dressed Man.

The gig was a total blur and it seemed like no time at all before we were hitting the final chord in Sex on Fire and I was bidding the assembled crowd goodnight. In keeping with tradition we were called back for an encore and, it being a school do I introduced the guys a “George’s Dad”, etc. I told the crowd that fortunately we did know one more song, we donned Elvis shades (cheesy, I know, but it went down well) and we played a barnstorming version of Jailhouse Rock, with a quick detour through Blue Suede Shoes and Hound Dog before leaving the stage to rousing cheers.

At the end of the day it was only a small gig, to a captive audience containing a great many friends, but the reception made us feel like we’d just taken the O2 Arena by storm. We swaggered back across the dancefloor to our waiting friends and family as the other band struck up again, and I couldn’t help smugly thinking, “Hah! Follow that ya b@st@rds!”

Actually, after that they became a lot more friendly to us, and I had a long chat about the contents of my pedalboard with their guitarist. I often find that the guitarists in so-called working bands are frustrated rockers and long to be playing the kind of stuff we play.

But we left the gig feeling vindicated. To their credit, all those on the dreaded committee who had opposed us playing had the decency to come up to us and say how much they loved our set, so top marks to them, and the idiot who ran the venue even ate his words regarding who was the “proper band”. The salutary lesson in this episode is that, despite feeling like genuine rock stars, with all the compliments and near-adulation, we still had to pack all our stuff up at the end of the night and I think I crawled into bed at around 3am, just like real rock star.

I fell asleep wondering what the PAT test man did with his elephant when he left the circus …………..

(In the next instalment ….. we get our first taste of being a “working band”.)

Hope the practice went OK Dave?
Ig

Yeah, we had a good practice on Tuesday night. We rehearse in the school drama studio, which is basically a classroom in a portacabin, but it does have carpet and is quit big so the sound is OK. We have to be very careful to makes sure we clear out all evidence of beer consumption when we leave.

Cherry (No. 1 SG) was sounding very nice with her new strings and being all clean and lovely. My main sound comes straight from the SG plugged directly into a Marshall TSL602, so there are no effects to hide behind. I do have a pedal board, but it's nearly all analogue and all with true bypass so most of the time it's just Mr Gibson's pickups and Mr Marshall's valves doing all the talking!

We finalised the set list for April 24th and played through most of them. New ones are Dakota by the Sterophonics. We call that one Daytona, because I spent about 2 weeks trying to find Daytona by The Red Hot Chilli Peppers (don't bother looking, it doesn't exist) because I forgot what Charlie had said when he suggested it. The last newbie for the set is You Really Got Me. Our version is kind of mid way between the original Kinks version and Van Halen's. Ted's got thsi brilliant keyboard sound that's like a Hammond Organ played through a busted Leslie speaker.

We always agonise over set lists. It's always a hard choice. Do we do our best numbers first to get people up on the floor, or do we leave the best ones 'til later when everyone is up and dancing already? And are the ones we think are best really teh best ones anyway?

Anyway, to pick up the story, we felt pretty good after our debut gig, and soon came the opportunity for another gig. One of Paul's workmates was getting married and wanted us to play at the Wedding reception. We readily agreed to this, of course, especially as Paul had negotiated and they were going to pay us £200! Our first paying gig, woo hoo! But this gave us two big headaches. One was that we would have to dramatically expand the set and the other was that we had no PA of our own.

Oh, and we still had that dreadful band name, Dads Allowed, so we needed a new name and to change our insurance.

But help was at hand. From a previous band I had a share in a set of big PA speakers, which I duly acquired, and Neil who did our PA for the first gig lent us a power amp, so all we needed was a mixer, which we all clubbed together for. Up until then we had been rehearsing with me singing through my AER Alpha acoustic amp, which sounded OK but fed back if I turned up too loud, so I was looking forward to having a proper PA. On the day we first used it I got there early to set it up, but could I get a damned sound out of the PA? Not a chance! Eventually I gave up and sang through the AER again. It was several days later I realise that the amp had a reset feature whereby you had to turn the channel volumes right down until they clicked to reset the output protection on the amp, so next rehearsal it worked OK. The next problem was we had no monitors, so we decided to invest the money we got for the gig and I ordered a pair of Behringer 400W powered PA speakers - that was much better and now we had a PA. The nice thing is the PA speakers can be used on their own and have a mic input, so I just take one of them to rehearsals. No reverb, but I can live with that.

Next problem: Ted can't do this gig either. He plays with another band ( a real, proper working band) and they have a gig that day. I ask him if it will help if I kill all the members of his other band, but no dice. So what do we do? Do we play as a 3 piece? Do we turn down the gig?

What we do in the end is invite one of paul's friends, Sue, to do the gig. She sings and plays guitar, so it should fill the sound out and she duly turns up for rehearsal. Luckilly she gets on with all the band and is fun to have around, and she can sing and play OK as well. We put a number in the set for her, I Want You To Want me, as done by Letters to Cleo (I think it was in a film). I didn't know the song at all, but we rehearse it up and it goes OK.

The day of the gig dawns and we all trawl down to Bournemouth in the afternoon to set up. We're not playing for the whole evening, just a short set, and there is a DJ providing music for the rest of the evening. He rolls up just as we do and we are treated to the sight of this gargantuan guy (thus solving the riddle of who ate all the pies) wedged into a tiny super-mini with all his gear. I expect to hear a popping sound like a champagne cork as he gets out!

We can't set up yet, so we hang about in the bar until the wedding breakfast is over and the guests are all herded out for us to set up. We immediately leap into action and are set up in a short space of time. We encounter the two problems all working bands face. One is that there is never enought space, and we cram ourselves into a corner, and the other is no matter how fast we are, the hotel staff keep hassling us to know when we'll be finished. I get fed up with various waiters coming up every five minutes to ask when we'll be done (the guys solve the problem for themselves by pointing them all at me - thanks guys!). Eventually I just tell all of them "5 to 10 minutes" and they all go off well pleased, and it doesn't matter because none of them are talking to each other anyway. We manage a 5 minute sound check and we're done.

Now comes more waiting around. We get a meal in the bar and sit outside. It's a gloriously sunny day, but we can't really enjoy it because we're all nervous and showing it in different ways. Charlie kind of ingores as all, like he's in denial that it's happening, Paul is very up front and keeps saying how nervous he is, Sue endlessly runnages through her handbag, desperately searching for who-knows-what, and I, in an effort to be supportive in my involuntary role as band leader, keep telling everyone it will all be OK and we'll be great, but I'm really telling myself. Eventually the tension gets to breaking point and we all go off and change. I'm a great believer that bands should always dress up for the occasion. I don't mean fancy dress or anything, but I think a band should make an effort. People have made and effort to see the band, so they deserve something in return, even if it's making sure you wear your very best ripped jeans and faded T-shirt. Never, ever, go on stage in the clothes you came in.

All dressed up, we head for the reception rooms and hang about onthe sidelines. The gargantuan disco man is playing dire music and we're really worried he's killing the mood, if there ever was any. And anyway, we can do that for ourselves, we don't need hsi help, ha ha! It's a very small wedding and there are just a few kids and one older lady up on the floor. We look about and the fear builds that we are going to bomb horribly.

Finally we get the nod, stride to the stage area and launch into our ubiquitous operner, Sharp Dressed Man. It goes down well and quite a few people are up and dancing, with nearly everyone else at least standing around the edges watching us. A lot of th guys there know Paul, and start to heckle him. They all work for a stairlift company so they start calling out for us to play "Stairlift To Heaven" so I start an impromtu version of "Stairway ...." and they seem well pleased. I miss Ted though. He would have joined in on Keyboards and it would all have been a lot better.

All in all the gig is OK, but I'm not pleased with how I played, and the audience reaction seems a bit lukewarm. Sex on Fire and Jailhouse Rock go down a storm, though. Afterwards we're invited to partake of the buffet, and the bride's mum and dad are there and tell us how great we were, which is nice. We're all in a bit of a party mood and are glad it's over, but now have more hanging about as we can't pack up until the disco is over at 1 AM. This seems to be the lot of the working band. you turn up, you wait, you set up in not enough time, you wait, you play to a mostly disinterested crowd, you wait, you pack up in a hurry, you get home in the small hours. I can see why some bands get jaded with it, and hope we never get like that. I vow to myself never to take a gig just for the money and never to get in other band members just t play a gig. I like Sue, but the band spirit comes from the four of us guys and that is how it should always be.

Then comes a bit of good news. Since there is hardly anyone there the disco is shuttin gdown at middnight, so we pack up early and are on the road home by about 12:30.

I get home knackered and a bit disappointed and decide that I really don't want us to be a regular working band. It's fun, but gigging every other weekend would get to be a drag. That said, we all worked together well setting up, we all just fell into our roles - Charlie does the drums, I do my guitar stuff and the PA, Paul does the lights and his Bass stuff. Nobody discussed this, it just happened, so that bodes well. Plus, even when the nerves were biting, no-one lost their rag with each other, so it proves we can function under pressure.

A few weeks later, however, we get word back that the crowd loved us, and even that a friend of the bride wants us to play at her wedding, so it just goes to show you can never really read a crowd. Just because they weren't up and cheering doesn't mean they didn't enjoy it - another lesson to learn.

(Nest Time: it's Xmas and Ted finally plays a gig with us!)

By the way, I'm going to a blues jam night in a pub on Monday night. Anyone ever been to one? It's a bit nerve-wracking, but I refuse to cop out and just go along to watch. I'm going to take Cherry along with me and hope I can get to play ..... let you know how I get on!

Last night I did the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I walked into a pub full of strangers, just me and my guitar, and got up on stage and performed two numbers (singing and playing) with three guys I didn't know from Adam. What a buzz!

I've never been to a blues jam night before, and it was very intimidating. Everyone seemed to know each other and when I walked in a bunch of guys were playing in quite a polished way. Well, I was in there now, with a guitar, so I'd kind of nailed my colours to the mast. I couldn't just sneak out now.

So I had a word with the organiser and he just said "Guitarist? Do you sing as well? Right, you'll be up soon," and walked off! So I got about 2 minutes to chat to the other guitarist before being up on stage with him and a bassist and drummer, and a very quick conflab later we launched into Jailhouse Rock followed by Route 66. I have to say, it seemed to go down a storm, especially in contrast to the slow blues a lot of guys were playing, so I was well pleased. I got invited back up on stage later in the evening too, so i can't have stank that badly!

It was one of the most enjoyable evenings of my life. All the guys were really nice and all supportive of each other: chatting about guitars an stuff. Sometimes you just gotta take a leap of faith!

Band rehearsal tonight. :-)

First band rehearsal tonight after being in the US for nearly two weeks. I only flew in yesterday morning, so I'm a bit jet-lagged and will probably fall asleep half way through rehearsals. I'll have to avoid beer as it will put me into an instant coma.

The good news is the drummer has a new, louder kit so we can all turn up even more - a guitarist's dream, ha ha!

Had a brilliant rehearsal last night. The drummer had his new Tama drum kit, so that gave lots of excuses for mickey taking, such as "Are you going to learn to play this one?" It's a really nice drum kit with a sparkly finish, but I got abused for saying it belonged in The Glitter Band. As always when there's a new drum kit, all the non-drummers wanted a go. Ted could actually play it, of course. He can do everything and we all hate him.

It was nice to get back in the swing of things after a two week lay-off, and it all went really well, I thought, especially as I was tired and jet-lagged after my trip to the States. Out next gig is at a private party in Surrey in three weeks time, and this was the last rehearsal all together until the day of the gig, so it's just as well it did go OK, I guess. The next time we all play together will be at the sound check - scary!

So, this was a chance to tweek the set list a bit. I don't think Maria will go down as a good second set opener, and I don't like closing the first set with Dakota, so my vote is to end the first set with Johnny B Goode and open the second set with something else a bit up-tempo like Route 66. All standard stuff but it does get people up and dancing.

It's funny how diferent songs go differently on different nights, and how the songs I really like change as well. I enjoyed playing our hard-edged version of Everyone's a Winner last night. Yup, it's the old Hot Chocolate song, but it's got a killer riff, plus we take a short detour through a bit of Sledgehammer (Peter Gabriel) during the break. Our rocked-up version of YMCA is always good for a laugh as well.

Anyway, we're all feeling reasonably confident for the gig now. Maybe I'd better practice a bit at home ....

.... Nah!

YMCA? You've got to get some sound samples online haha.

All sounds good, the blogs always a good read. Good luck with the gig

Another good rehearsal last night. It was just me, Paul (Bass) and Charlie (drums) last night as Ted the genius keyboard player was on holiday. I quite like it when we play as a three-piece because it proves we can still do it if necessary. Ted hasn't told his other band that he plays with us (I feel dirty, like "the other woman"!) and I'm never quite sure which way he'd jump if his other band found out about us and started issuing ultimata, so it's nice to know we'd be OK if we had to go back to being a 3-piece.

I took my 3 boys along, as it's Easter holidays, and they had a ball. While we were waiting for Charlie to set his shiny new drum kit up (and adjust and polish it - yawn!) my oldest boy asked if he could have a go on my guitar, and I was really, really impresesd at how well he played. The other two got up to the mike and they did a little impromtu rendition of Boulevard of Broken Dreams for us. It's moments like that you live for.

We all played really well, and my voice held out well. I think it's getting stronger and I'm getting fitter, which bodes well for future, longer gigs. Our hard rock version of Mama Mia is sounding awesome, and we're really pleased with how Dakota is sounding now as well. Dakota really suits my voice.

Anyway, I never told you all about Ted's first gig with us. Charlie and his wife decided it would be a good idea for us to collectively throw a party at Xmas, and The Rookies could play, so they booked Thruxton village hall for December 19th, Friday night. Mine and Charlie's wives took over organising it, and I won't go into all the ins and outs of that, but suffice to say we all nearly became single again. The nice thing with the girls organising was that all we had to do was play. Neil ageed to come and do a PA for us again, and we set about expanding the set list and rehearsing it up. Then comes gig number two. The father of a friend of ours has a Xmas party every year and they wanted us to play on the Saturday following our party. Blimey, we had a little tour planned now! Friday night - Thruxton, Saturday night Vernham Dean! Not quite like playing Madison Square Garden followed by the Budokan, but it was big for us.

We bought new lights for this one: a couple of sets of nice LED PAR Cans with controllers, which are pretty spiffing, and with the promise of a decent PA we were well excited about our party, if a little less excited about the next night.

We expanded the set list to cover a couple of hours in total, and added a rocked-up version of All I Want For Xmas Is You (Mariah Carey, of all people!) at the last minute to add to the festive spirit. As usual we were all lazy and it was a last minute rush to perfect the songs (well, "perfect" may be a misnomer - "get barely acceptable" would be more like it!)

The day of the gig dawned and I worked at home in the morning (well, re-strung my two SGs and gave the Minarik Inferno a good clean and polish) so I could go straight to the gig in the afternoon. We spent all afternoon setting up and the girls made the place look great and prepared the food. I bought us guys in the band a case of beer because we'd bought Stella for everyone else, but none of us like it! (It was cheap, what can I say?) but as usual I couldn't drink it. I don't drink much before playing, and never anything fizzy because it makes me burp! There's nothing worse than going for a high note and letting out a huge belch instead!

A couple of weeks before the gig Charlie had announced that he thought we should all dress up for the gig. I could tell what was going through his mind, and I was right - The Village People. Honestly, Charlie worries me sometimes. There's a brilliant one-liner in Still Crazy, where Billy Connolly says, "If men are from Mars and Women are from Venus, drummers are from Pluto." 'Nuff said.

Bowing to the inevitable I tried to at least give us a good reason for it and said if we were going to dress up as the Village People then a) I was NOT going to be the leather biker and b) we were going to open the show with a hard-rock version of YMCA. We used our old lights to back-light ourselves and opened with a sequenced YMCA opening on Ted's keyboards and with us all in the Y-M-C-A poses - I don't for one moment think it looked as good as we imagined it would, but it was well received and kicked the party off brilliantly. In no time at all we were ending the first set with Johnny B Goode and left the stage to raptuous applause (although they were probably just overjoyed we'd finished).

It was only then that I realised Ted and I had finally done what we'd been gabbing on about intermitently since we were students together over 20 years ago - we'd actually played a gig together! We shook hands and grinned at each other like idiots. "It's a funny old world," I told him.

By the time we'd changed out of the ridiculous Village People gear and I'd drank half a bottle of Chianti, it was time to go back on again. I know I said I don't drink much before going on but it was my party and I was going to make a hash of the second half if I wanted to!

As it happens, it all went to plan. Neil, who did our PA, got up and sang Ever Fallen In Love? with us and Sue, who played the wedding gig with us, got up and sang I Want You To Want Me. Both of them went down well, too, and we ended with All I Want For Xmas and Jailhouse Rock at about the same time as I finally became more or less incoherent. In my old band we had a saying that if you can't play it drunk, you can't play it. Well, ladies and gentlemen, I CAN play it (just not very well!) I haven't seen the DVD yet.

The next day was just massively hard work. I got up early and went back to Thruxton to load all my gear into the car, then took it home and unloaded it. I then did a 180 mile round-trip to pick my boys up from my mum & dad's before loading the gear up again and heading our to Vernham Dean to set up there. My wife was invited to the party, so it was a massive rush to get set-up, sound checked, get back home, changed and then get a taxi back to Vernham.

Incidentally, the house where we played used to have a recording studio in the basement where The Kinks and Rod Stewart and The Faces recorded, so we were in good company!

Well, we looked around the party and realised we were going to bomb here. Nearly the entire crowd was in their 60s! We had a bit of a pow wow, changed the set list around and decided we'd just treat it as a rehearsal and reluctantly take the cash at the end. We wandered unenthusiastically onto our stage area and started Sharp Dressed Man, only to find that instantly everyone got up and started dancing, not to sit down until we finished the first set! they were brilliant! They may have been over 60, but they hadn't forgotten how to party, that's for sure. We only broke for 10 minutes before getting up again and playing another set, which again was brilliantly received. Sometimes you just can't tell. OK, they were in their 60s, but so are The Kinks and Rod Stewart now!

So we did two gigs in two nights, both very different and if anything the second gig was the better one! The sound was better and the crowd more into dancing and having fun.

So, my tips for budding giggers from this installment are:
1) Don't drink fizzy stuff if you're singing (uless it's death metal, in which case no-one will notice the belches)
2) Don't drink too much alcohol before playing (unless you want to forget the gig)
3) Never ever judge the audience on appearances alone. Wait until they start throwing stuff before you decide they're going to hate you!

By the way, Charlie was the leather biker .....

STOP PRESS: Charlie never got to go on his cruise so he'll be at rehearsal tomorrow - sad he missed his holiday, but good because I HATE drum machines with a passion ....

His flight out was cancelled on Thursday and he spent since then trying to find a way to get out and join the ship, but no dice. It does mean we won't have to rehearse on Saturday before the gig as well, which is also good. He was due to dock in Southampton, taxi back home then straight out to the gig in Surrey. I didn't really fancy an hour-long sound check

Yup! Charlie was there tonight. And the good news is he managed to catch a flight out to Gibraltar this morning to join the cruise.

Another good, constructive rehearsal last night. It was really good to have Charlie there for out first full rehearsal before the gig on Saturday. It's a birthday party, so we decided we ought to have some sort of Happy Birthday song to play. So what to go for? Last gig we did where someone had a birthday I played the traditional Happy Birthday song a la Hendrix (a bit like his iconic Woodstock Star Spangled Banner) but that's a bit self-indulgent, really, dontcha think? So we wracked our brains .... Stevie Wonder, Happy Birthday? No way! Over my dead body! Hmmm.... traditional Happy Birthday .... Nah! The Beatles, Birthday? Nah! So what's left? Er .... Altered Images, Happy Birthday? Er .... hang on! That might just work! And indeed it does, ladies and gentlemen! It's got a good heavy riff, it's well-known enough (especially for our generation) and even if people don't know it, it's easy enough to get the crowd to join in.

(Next week, folks, we try to find a suitable rock song for a Barmitzvah!)

I'm avoiding all forms of fizzy drink before and during singing now, as even a stubby of lager makes me burp, so consequently my voice is holding out better. The only trouble is, the other guys are all having a bottle or two so I'm dead jealous. I feel like a Methodist on a distillery tour. Hmmm ..... now Rioja isn't fizzy, is it?

And for the first time in ages I took my second SG along with me as it's tuned to an open tuning (open D, I think it is - the one Keith Richards uses for Start Me Up, anyway). I only use it for one song, but it's also there as a backup. Paul asked if I thought he should take his other bass as a spare. "It's not likely to go wrong, is it?" he asked me. I told him if he took his other bass then his main one would almost certainly be fine, but if he left his spare behind then his main one would almost certainly go down. That's just the kind of world we live in. Charlie wanted to know if I was going to take my acoustic. I might, but it's a lot of faff as it means taking the acoustic amp as well, and then it's another thing to patch through the PA and sound check, so I might not bother. We'll see how much room is in the van. I do love giving the ol' J45 an outing to show her off, but we'll see ......

So now all I have to do is brush up on some of the lyrics ....

Aaarrgghhh! Getting a bit nervous now. And I need to check my gear over. I'm working from home today, so I might check some of it. My amp really needs a new jack socket in it, but I'm not sure I have time to do that. It's just a bit loose and crackles if the plug is woggled in it (woggled is a technical term, for the uninitiated). Actually, I'm not sure I have a spare anyway. I shouldn't have left it this long, really, should I? I might change Cherry's strings, but I won't bother with Sunny's 'cos I only use her on one song (unless Cherry has a tantrum and I have to use Sunny for the whole gig that is, of course!) To be honest, having two of them is an extravagance I'm not sure I can really afford, but I know I'll never be able to buy another one if I sold one of them, so I'm gonna keep them both.

I also need to get round to marking the knob positions on my stomp boxes so I can set them easily at the gig. They tend to get rotated as they wobble about a bit in the board when I move it around, so I need to mark the positions. A scrap of masking tape with a line on will do for each knob - but it's all time, isn't it.

And then, there's the consideration of what am I going to wear? Come on, let's get our priorities right! At this stage I can't do much about the performance but I can make up for it by looking the part. I normally wear a shirt and waistcoat, and shades of course. I wear the shades for a couple of good reasons, as well as trying to look cool. One is that the lights can be a bit dazzling and the other is that I often close or half close my eyes when I'm singing and it just looks crap, so I cover my eyes. That way I can play the whole gig with my eyes screwed up (Ziggy really sang, screwed-up eyes and screwed-down hairdo, like some cat from Japan .....) and no-one will notice, apart from me bumping into things.

We really need roadies as well. We're all getting on a bit and 23kg of Marshall up two flights of stairs is no joke. We need to fins some young daft lads who think that being with the band makes them attractive to girls so they can set it all up and we can just drift in later and play. Actually, Neil who did our PA at Xmas, does sound for a working band and to be honest they treat him a bit badly. They all drift around letting him do all the work and ignore him when he tells them to turn their backline down. Their guitarist doesn't seem to realise that Neil really does know what he's talking about. He quite often has to turn the guitar right off in the PA because the backline is so loud. Trust me, people, a Mesa-Boogie Lonestar in the wriong hands is a dangerous weapon!

Anyway, Paul has a company van on Saturday, so I'm not driving. The combined effects of all that hefting gear around and the copious amounts of wine I'll drink after the gig will mean I feel like I've been expertly beaten up by the secret police on Sunday morning .... happy days!

Well, the gig at the weekend went really well, but wasn't without it's issues. The main problem was that we were doing the gig for the drummer's mate's dad's 70th birthday. Charlie didn't like to bring up the issue of payment, (which surprises me, because he's an estate agent!) so despite us all having badgered him about it, we went into it not knowing whether we were getting paid at all, expenses or otherwise, or even being fed. On top of that, both Paul and I had wives who were less than happy about it, for various quite good reasons, I have to say, so we didn't exactly have a positive attitude to start with.

I'm still excited at we set off in Paul's works van, even though Paul and I moan like a couple of grumpy old men. We get over there pretty early and it's a gorgeous day so Paul and I find a picturesque village pub and sit in the garden with a glass of wine: white Rioja! Not something you find in the UK as often as you should. And , alright, I know white wine isn't very rock and roll, but remember my no fizzy stuff rule! I call Ted and he joins us for a half hour or so to slag Charlie off before we go to the gig. Charlie is half an hour late. (But, to be fair, he had docked in Southampton at 9 that morning and had been over to Gatwick to pick up his car)

The venue is upstairs, but that was OK 'cos I haven't managed to get to the gym this morning so it's my workout for the weekend! Hefting my Marshall up two flights of stairs has got to be the equivalent of running the London Marathon dressed as a giant rabbit.

As usual the amount of gear we rock up with alarms our customers, but it soon condenses down into a neat corner, once the cases have all been put back in the van. But the next bit of friction occured when Charlie then starts telling us we have to hurry up because guests are arriving at 7:00 rather than 7:30. So once again we get a 10 minute sound check, but it's OK because it's only my vocals going through the PA anyway. We sound-check by the simple expedient of playing our first number, I walk out front and listen and then get people to tweak the volumes, then Paul walks out while we play and I sing, and we get the vocal level right, and we're done! All very painless, really.

And then the guests are arriving so we go and change into our rock 'n' roll gear and then stalk about the place looking all moody. In this case we really are moody because we still have no idea if we're even getting petrol money for this. I mean, I know Dave helped us our a bit with our first gig, but I didn't notice him doing any 160 mile round trips or giving up a whole day of his time. To add insult to injury, Charlie and his family are invited guests, so he knows he's getting fed! Paul, Ted and I hang about outside and decide to go and get a quick curry, but Dave wants to buy as a drink (the red wine was cack, so I'm even more moody) and I finally confront Charlie with it, but he's notoriously thick skinned and just says, "don't let it affect your performance, Dave." Well it won't affect my performance, but it might affect the shape of Charlie's nose if he keeps that up, ha ha!

Timing hasn't really been sorted out (Grrrr!) so when we wander up at 8:00 to play our first set, everyone is tucking into the buffet, so we decide to leave it until 9:00, but at least the hostess does invite us to fill our boots, so that's one source of annoyance settled. I ask Ted what his other band do about this sort of thing, and he says they always insist that they must be fed as part of the deal.

Anyway, we finally take to the stage at 9:00 and slay 'em in the aisles, so to speak. We're playing really well, and we've been reliably informed the sound is good (it certainly sounds good to me) and the first set goes without a hitch. To make things even better, Charlie disappears then comes back to tell us we're getting £200, which is better than nothing. I'm not overjoyed because it really barely covers the travelling expenses, but at least it's settled, and we go back on for the second set feeling really good. Mama Mia goes down an absolute storm, and is sounding better than it ever has before - in fact it sounds exactly like I imagined it would, and YMCA has them overflowing off the dance floor. I'm the only one of us who has his head up the whole time, so I watch the crowd and it's gratifying to see that even those who aren't dancing on the floor are tapping their feet and jigging about where they stand (although a lot of them are pensioners, so it may have been a bit of incontinence going on).

We've already worked out which numbers we can repeat for an encore and duly do so, even going as far as playing Jailhouse Rock a second time to finally end things.

So all-in-all it was a very successful gig, apart from the pittance we got paid. Screaming Dave's tip of the week this week is to always make sure you settle up front exactly what the terms are for any gig. It was all very nice that they decided to give as a couple of tons, but it shouldn't have been up to them to decide how much they would pay us! At the next rehearsal I need to make sure we all know exactly what our terms are before we have another one like this, and it should be a set minimum price PLUS expenses. I'll tell the guys, if they feel uncomfortable talking money to people, then put them on to me! I don't want to come across as being all hard-nosed, but the thing is we are getting good, and a lot of bands charge a helluva lot more than we do. My wife and I paid over a grand for the band for our wedding, and even a disco would cost a lot more than we got paid for this one. Coincidentally I noticed an advert on the notice board at the football club for a disco - £500! Right now I reckon if we charge £300 plus expenses it'll still be the last bargain left in the country!

The sting in the tail is that the hostess took my number as she says they have a couple of Golden weddings and a divorce party coming up. Now, I'm not being funny, but I'm really not sure Golden weddings was what we had in mind when we got together, and I'm not hauling ass all the way over there again for 200 quid, but the idea of a divorce party intrigues me. Hmmm, better brush up on our Tammy Wynette, I think to myself as I drift off to sleep at half one Sunday morning ......

Alright Now is one of those songs that when you first play the opening riff, everyone goes, "Yeah! Wayhey!" and gets up to dance, but then they get bored with it after the first chorus and sit down again. So we've come up with a plan to give people that first "Yeah! Wayhey!" buzz, but without boring them, which is to take a detour through Alright Now in the middle of Mama Mia (same key because we changed the key of Mama Mia so I could sing it. My voice isn't as high as those two Swedish bints!). It actually works pretty well.

We're palying at the school fete in a couple of weeks time. Bit naff, really, I know, but we're hoping a few people will see us and book us for parties so we can start making donations to the school who let us rehearse there for free. Just the three of us, because Ted's off at his granny's funeral again. How many times can that woman be killed? I think Ted must come from a family of the undead or something.

Ted has just bought one of those keyboards that you can hang around you like a guitar with is uber-cool. We spent last rehearsal working out which songs he can use it on. He'd nicked his son's wireless system, so he spent the rehearsal prowling around the room with it. He's gotta use it on Everyone's a Winner and YMCA.

We gigged at the school fete on Saturday, and it went down very well. We played out in the open, which brought its own challenges, and it was baking hot. So the first thing was that Charlie was paranoid about leaving his shiny new kit out in the sun, so we put a gazebo up over it while we were waiting to play.

The sound was suprisingly easy to sort out in the open air. I was going to put the kick and snare drums through the PA, but a) didn't have the mics and b) didn't have time to do it, so it was just vocals again.

The idea was that we were going to play at the end, so just for half an hour at around 2 o'clock, but we went on about half one in the end, because it seemed the crowd was starting to thin our rapidly. Charlie was worried there was nobody left, but he needn't ahve been. We trooped on in our school uniforms, and by halfway through the first number there was quite a decent crowd sat in the sun on the grass enjoyin ghte show. We even got comments from some of the teenagers that that we were "quite good" which is praise indeed from a generation who have regressed to grunting as their primary form of communication. Oh, that and texting.

As usual the rock 'n' roll stuff went down best and had a few of the crowd up and dancing.

The only annoying thing was that we hadn't even finished playing when the guy who was going to draw the raffle was tugging at my elbow trying to attract my attention! I don't know if he thought the instant the last chord ended all the gear would miraculously fold up instantly into a box and be whisked away but he could have left it. Needless to say his desperate hurry to get on and call the raffle killed any prospect of an encore, but we weren't too fussed as it was hot enough to boil a monkey's bum out there. Anyway, I left the mic turned down a bit so no-one could hear him! A bit petty, I know, but he had it coming, ha ha!

So, Dave's lesson this week is to never work with children, animals or raffle callers. Next year he can set up his own bloody PA.

The major bonus was it looks like we have two proper paying gigs off the back of it, so not a wasted afternoon at all! Nor a wasted evening as we all went back to my place, drank beer and exagerated how great we were. B-)

Another week, another rehearsal!

Just a three piece tonight, but we'll still work on new stuff because Ted is so talented he can play all the newbies now anyway! We worked on If The House Is Rockin by Stevie Ray Vaughan, Roll With It (Oasis) and Learn To Fly (The Foo Fighters) last week, and they were all sounding good (well, to us, anyway) I might put in an official request to drop Learn to Fly by a tone, as it's a bit high for me. I might also do that for Sex On Fire. Charlie finally gave us all DVDs of the controlversial Storrington gig last week, and I realised how strained I sound on that one. Mind you, it was hard to tell anything much about the gig as Charlie's 14 year-old daughter did the filming and seemed to either focus on just Charlie or wave it around a lot. I felt sea sick (Steve) by the end of it.

We were originally going to do When You Were Young by the Killers, but then Charlie persuaded us that Somebody Told Me was better. Then at the rehearsal Ted and Paul reneged on that deal and we went back to When You Were Young - but none of us had the music, ha ha! Anway, we should have a go at that tonight. We're also doing Three Little Birds by Bob Marley, as a bit of Reggie always goes down well.

Oh, and Charlie wants to do Sweet Child 'O Mine. Now, I've always resisted it on the basis that nobody can play that riff. But then my 12-year-old son played it to me last night on MY SG (to add insult to injury) so I started working on it.

Current side projects are working on a couple of numbers with my neighbour so he can play at the blues jam night I did the other week, and going up to play with my old band, Clever Jake, just for auld lang syne.

Rumours of a split are untrue, though. We're just pursuing solo projects as well ......

Not such a good rehearsal last night. I think we were all tired and a lot more sitting around having a beer and bantering took place than actual work. We did some good work on Milk and Alcohol (which is far more difficult to get the sound than it seems to be when you first listen to it) and Learn to Fly was sounding good.

I've put in a key change application for Sex on Fire. I sound a bit strained on it, so dropping it a tone will help no end. But they all got the wrong end of the stick when I said I wanted to drop it a bit, and thought I didn't want to do it at all any more, ha ha! I had to fight them off with a chair.

The positive thing was that the banter is still there. One of the things I like most about this band is that we've all become mates. We can take the p!ss out of each other and nobody minds a bit (well, they might mind, but they don't get all upset and storm off). I mean, they were joking around with me last night about me being an egotistical, megalomanic bastard, but I know they didn't mean it ..... did they?

By the way, another tip learned the hard way. When we played outdoors a couple of weeks ago, I left my guitar in it's case right out in the sun. When I opened it, it was covered in condensation, so don't ever leave your axe out in full sun, even in its case - it WILL suffer.

Oh, and we've been offered a gig in Ottawa, Canada! My sister-in-law is helping to organise a street party out there and would (half-jokingly) like us to play there. We had a lot of chat about how we would do it if the Canadians were mad enough to pay our expenses. I told Charlie he'd have to travel in the hold as my guitar would be having his seat, ha ha! The problem would be getting our European 240V/50Hz gear to work on 110V/60Hz. The voltage isn't a problem, but the number of cycles is, so I understand.

We would HAVE to rehearse up Monty Python's Lumberjack Song!

Ted had flu last night so he didn't come along, so another 3-piece rehearsal. We worked on a few newbies, and bantered and beered a lot.

My best man has offered us a gig at his wife's birthday party, to be held in their garden! They're going to get some guys from the theatre to build a stage over the top of an old raised-pond they have there, with a cover and everything, for us. How cool will that be? It'll be like our own mini Glasto! I told Joe he'd have to cough up for travelling plus paying the other guys, but they were really positive about doing it anyway. I told them it'll be quite a young crowd, and Paul said if there were going to be any nice looking women there he'd be willing to pay an entrance fee.

Plus my step-daughter is getting married next year so we've been booked for that. They don't have a fixed date or a venue yet, but they do have a band! I'm going to get Jade's dad to do a number with us. There's a Henry Priestman song about meeting his daughter's fiance for the first time called "He Ain't Good Enough" which would be a laugh ...

Blimey, Uraguay just beat SA 3-0!

"Only football,
Gives us thrills,
Rock 'n' roll just pays the bills ...."